I’ve been learning in my relationship with my girl that loving someone has its dangers. Usher said “There’s so many ways to love ya”, and this is true. There’s so many ways to love a person – but what is the right way that will help you keep your relationship straight?
Loving for the sake of Loving
There are a lot of people today who have lots of love to give. We were created as relational beings. Emotional beings. It is a natural part of us to love someone.
But there is a question we have to ask ourselves. Why do we love? Why do we give our love away to another person? Is it to get married? Is it to have children? What if those things come and are fulfilled? What next?
There are a lot of people today – especially younger people – who love for the sake of loving. Because they have love to give.
Just because you have love to give, doesn’t mean you have to give it. Loving for the sake of loving can be the most selfish, meaningless act you can do in your life – and it will easily lead to emotional instability.
Love is a choice. It is also a powerful emotion. How you distinguish between the two is determined by its purpose. Loving for the sake of loving easily defines love as an emotion because loving for the sake of loving cannot define love as a choice. It will bear no meaning.
Loving someone too much
I’ve written quite a handful of articles about loving someone too much. This is one of the most dangerous aspects of loving that a lot of people fall into. Loving someone too much puts you in the dangerous playground of idolatry. It simply puts the beloved before anything else – even Christ.
Loving someone too much also sets you up, if you’re a guy, to let the girl lead. And if you’re a girl, it sets you up to follow even towards wrong leadership. Wrong leadership can mean, a leading to impurity, sexual immorality, lying, and anything against the heart and leadership of God.
Loving beyond what you can give
Our love has its limits. We are finite beings with finite emotions and finite will, energy, resources, time and imagination. Because we are finite beings, even if we have a lot of love to give, we can run out. Our emotional tanks can go empty. When this happens, you are setting yourself up for disappointment, burnout, stress and bitterness.
Loving beyond what you can give and not getting any reciprocated love in return can easily lead to bitterness.
Loving beyond what you can give and going farther than what your limited time, resources, and energy can bear can easily lead to burnout and stress.
How can Love go Wrong?
The questions our generation is asking is “How can our love have gone wrong?”, “Where did we lose ourselves?”, and the cry of our hearts remains unanswered. How can love hurt so much?
There are so many ways to love someone dangerously. So what do we do? How do we love someone in the right way?
The Purpose behind Loving
There is only one way to love someone – to really love someone. Love for the sake of the glory of God.
This is the answer.
Love can never go wrong with that purpose and direction behind it. Love for the sake of the glory of God. Glorify and honor our God in your love for others – and you will never ask love why it went wrong – ever again.