“I fell out of love for my wife.”
“I fell out of love for my husband.”
Ever heard those phrases before? Our society is plagued by a disturbingly rising divorce rate. I think I found out one simple but profound insight to this problem.
Tonight, I asked myself why God did not explicitly command husbands (or wives) to “love your children?” Why is it that the Bible explicitly commanded husbands to love their wives and for wives to submit to their husbands but none of that for the kids?
“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.” – Ephesians 5:22
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” – Ephesians 5:25
Expecting a Change
As I write this, we are well on our way to having a child. God has met us with great grace and has blessed me and Apple immensely in our marriage. Tonight, I read a very inspiring entry that my wife shared with me. Please read it here.
I thought to myself “Hey yeah, why didn’t God ever command us husbands or the wives to love their children?” In fact the only time the Bible directly talks about loving our children comes with the word ‘discipline’.
“Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.” – Proverbs 13:24
And the thought dawned on me.
It’s because we are naturally bent to love them. In fact, we love them too much that we are reminded by the Bible to be careful to discipline them.
But our love for our spouse can turn cold and even fade away to be lost. That’s why there’s such a thing as adultery. That’s why there’s such a thing as divorce.
Sometimes life can just take over our love. And that’s part of the Devil’s scheme. A subtle but sure approach to distort the covenant that portrays God’s love for us the most: the covenant of marriage.
So here’s my charge to myself and to all the husbands out there: Remember, you are lovers to your bride first before you are fathers.
And to the wives: Remember that you are your husband’s joy and treasure first before you are mothers.
“Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” – Mark 10:8
Don’t let anything separate you – especially not the gift of children.