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Going Back to God

Black leather couchThere’s just too many questions, aren’t there?”

He’s wearing white slacks and long sleeves that seemed to glow as he smiled. No, I didn’t see the smile but i felt it – strongly.

I nodded unknowingly, “Why did you come?”

He was looking for me ever since – it’s just he decided to finally meet me.

“You’ve come a long way. Why now? Why me? Why all the trouble?” I shrugged my shoulders, “And what now?”

He shifted his weight on the old black leather couch that seemed too comfortable.

“You’ve stolen from me. I want it back.”

“What did I steal from you?”

Again that smile – this time, it felt as if He was amused.

“What you’ve given me before – your heart.”

I was astonished, “That just doesn’t happen in one seating”

“Oh, I believe this is exactly what you need.”

“And how do you plan to do that?”

“Do you remember the time when you were hungry? The time when you wanted this girl and you didn’t know if you were sure? The time when you needed an encouragement?”

“Yeah, well, that’s all in the past, isn’t it?”

He stretched out his hand and pointed out to me as if He was going to say something important, “What about that goal of getting married you’ve been working so hard for?”

I didn’t know what to say.

“Aren’t you tired? Your eyes seem so. They’ve lost their joy. Their glow. Your shoulders are slumped. Your cheeks sag. Oh you may not have noticed this but I do. I know you better than you think.”

He stood up as if to model His words, “You’ve forgotten to stand up straight and walk as if there is hope. Now you toil ahead as if you’re dragging the weight of your past.”

I felt tears welling up, “And what would you do to bring me back?”

“It’s not about what I would do. It’s about what you would do. Walk with me.”

I shook my head and looked away, “I stole from you, dishonored you, spat on your face and shamed you in front of my friends, there is nothing more between us.”

“That’s not true!” His voice boomed through the walls, “There is something that will always be between us.” He grew silent.

“My Son. Jesus.” He walked towards me, “Remember I gave my Son up for you as a sacrifice for your sins – He took your place of death on the cross. You can never say that there is nothing between us.”

I just stood there in shame, “Yes… I remember…”

He held out his hand, “I will take you back. Walk with me.”

I reached out for His hand, “I’m no longer worthy to be called your son, Lord.”

I shed my first tears in years.

“But because of Jesus, you are. And I love you and I will take you back.”

I remember my addictions, my respectable sins, my deceits, my bad habits, even my empty and dishonoring relationships.

I’m letting it all go.

“Okay God. I surrender. Take me back.”

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