Before you read this entry, please note – this has been an entry of my distant past already. Thanks.
You all know that I have high standards in looking for a woman to spend the rest of my life with. My standards have shocked people and they keep on asking why. One of my standards is “She must never have had a past relationship.” I wanted to explain why I usually don’t include girls who’ve had past relationships in the list.
They gave away some keys to their hearts – the guys can just keep coming back unless they change their locks
Girls who’ve had past relationships have given away keys to their hearts to the guys they have loved. They have made themselves vulnerable to the guy/s even if the relationship is over. She can never have those keys back. But what she can do is to change the locks.
Unless a woman changes the locks and gives them up to God, the guys will try to keep using those keys whenever they want her back. The only way to really give up the locks and render those keys useless is when she gives them up to God.
They gave away some things that should have been kept for marriage – they gave it away and the guys happily took it
Girls who’ve had past relationships have given away some things that are ideally kept for marriage. They have given away physical sensuality, and some even have given up their virginity (Don’t get me wrong, the girl I’m pursuing kept her body for God and for the one who she’s going to marry. I’m just stating this as an example in general). They have given up their bodies to someone who wouldn’t commit to them after all.
And the guys happily took it. They have robbed her in some way, but they also did not because she also willingly gave it to him.
They gave away their heart – what’s going to be left for me
Girls who’ve had past relationships have given away her heart. Even if she wanted it back, it would return to her a little less. The way her heart beats would never be the same again. Her heart has been broken and torn, and it’s color has faded. Even if it heals, it can never return to what it once was.
What’s going to be left for me is only the remains.
So, what happened to you, Sean?
To those who know me and are close to me, you know that I am pursuing someone who’s had a past relationship. Why is that? Here’s my reason:
For me to love a woman who’s had past relationships can only say how special that person is. And how special is she indeed! God must have a very, very, very good reason why He led me to choose to love her.
And I know that she’s willing to give up the locks to God. I know that she’s a new creation. Even if she didn’t keep it all for me, I choose to love her. I’ve decided and I will fight for it.
What’s the point?
My point is this: Even if you have the tightest standards, if God calls you to something else, you have to be able to surrender everything to Him. It’s not about your standards – it’s about His plans and His glory. Remember that.
Haha… We have the same standards, kuya Sean… I totally agree with you and I share the same views with you.
Haha it's good to have standards Bart. Hope you will be able to give it up when God asks you to =)
BOOOOOOOOOOOM kuys, BOOOOOOOOM!!! 🙂
that's all i can say. I LOVE IT m/
Hahaha! Thanks Dani!!! =D praise God!!!
Aww, Sean the entry is so sweet. I'm sure whoever the girl is, she must be really special.
Hahaha thanks Charles =) she is. Very.
To be honest, I think this is a rather bizarre standard you've set up for yourself.
=)
Sometimes we tend to do bizarre things. My reason for this is because I've seen it happen and so I wanted the same and I prayed to God for it. Right now, it seems as if He reminded me of His sovereignty in every aspect of my life.
wow… this is a really good blog…
whoever this girl is, all i have to say is that she is VERY BLESSED to have someone love her like that..=)
Hey Anj!
Likewise I'm very blessed to know her as well =)
I just thank God for her =D
I'm glad you tried to reconsider your criteria when you spotted this girl & when the Lord led you to do it. I found the second item too swift a sweeping generalization. Not all girls who've had past relationships gave themselves physically partially or fully regardless of the number of ex-BF's they've had. Even if they did fall into such a temptation in the past, it will still be godly to view and treat it the way Jesus would. I remember writing on my wish list a similar thing years ago. I wanted a guy who has been sexually pure since birth. When I told a missionary friend this she said that I ought to have grace in my heart to extend to someone who might not meet such a tall order. I've not stricken that part out of my wish list but if God calls me to love and serve someone who falls short, as you did, I would gladly and lovingly heed His call.
Great! =D
Yeah definitely not all girls have had # 2. Thanks for pointing that out mam!
"They gave away their heart – what’s going to be left for me"
I think that's a very limited and limiting view of love. After all, if a mother has a second child, it doesn't mean she doesn't love both her children, does it?
Does that also mean you'd never get involved with a widow?
Seems more than a little egotistical, to me
I'm gonna be painfully honest with you, I'm a very competitive person. And you can say that it's jealousy but I don't want anyone else there but myself.
I would really not want to be romantically involved with a widow, but of course, if that is God's plan for me then it will happen.
It might seem egotistical such as how God seems egotistical when He gets jealous of us when we put something else on top of God in our lives. There's something that I call healthy jealousy. If you really love someone, you will get jealous – but only to a right degree because he/she has given his/her love to someone or something else other than yourself who should have been the right one to receive it.
Hope this clarified some things to you =)
It does, but I don't see why God can't plan for a woman to have two husbands (one after the other, obviously, rather than both at once). If someone marries, and is then widowed, should that be that? that seems wrong, to me.
I'm a child bride myself – we celebrated our 12th anniversary in Nov, and I'm 32 (he's 31). The idea of losing him is horribly painful, and I don't even want to consider it.
But suppose he'd been killed in a car crash when I was 25. Would that be my feeble lot, as far as you were concerned?
Mhmm…
In the old testament, the widows would be taken care of (and probably remarried to) the brother of the deceased husband.
It's a matter of trust. I think even if God wants the widow to marry or not, He will take care of her and look after her.
Congratulations!!! I'm so happy for you!!! =D I'm sure you're going strong!
No, I'm sure God has a plan if that happens. He has a perfect plan for your life why He wanted you to go through that. Take for example, my case in a firstborn. I want my firstborn to be a son. BUT if God has another plan, that must mean that He has something very special in store – because He had to deny my request for a firstborn son.
We really would never understand the ways of our God – especially when it gets painful for us. But in the end, it's not about us, is it? =)
Thanks for voicing out here Elijah! And I really, really, really do appreciate your diggs! You are a big encouragement for me!
My firstborn (well, only, thus far!) is a boy, our son Isaac, who is now 4. Isaac is, with me, on my pic on Digg. But I'm the eldest of four, three girls, then our brother is the youngest. I think whatever happens is what will be best for your own family, whether that's a daughter or a son. Mind you, my Dad's mother was convinced forever that my parents kept going until the had a boy, but after having 3 girls, they assumed no. 4 would be another girl, and my Bruv came as rather a shock! (He's 24, and ante-natal scans then didn't say what sex the baby was).
Wow! Congratulations by the way with your boy =) will pray for him that he grows up in light of God's word. Mhmm yeah I'm sure that whatever happens will be the best for us in light of God's own purposes and glory.
I'm sure he was a shock and a delightful surprise to your parents as well! Praise God!
My parents seem quite happy to be grandparents – we've just spent 10 days at their house for Christmas, and they seem to enjoy him! Isaac means "he who will laugh" in Hebrew, which is an appropriate name for him.
Great! So glad for you and your family! May you be a godly mother to your son and may he see Christ in your life! I'm excited for him to grow in God in light of your parenting =)
He might grow up Jewish, like his Dad, though. I'm Anglican.
Haha! We all have our differences =) more reason to be excited for him!
By the way, digging is supposed to be something of a mutual activity (-:
Oh yeah sorry 'bout that! I'll look into your articles too! =D haha! Haven't been into digg lately. I use onlywire to post my articles to digg. =D
i love this sean. I’m definitely givin up my heart’s locks to God 🙂
Glad to hear you are =)
This opened my eyes to humility.. thank you : ) Keep on writing : D
Okay my first comment wasn't supposed to be in this page! Sorry. it was supposed to be a comment on a different entry of yours. :p I totally agree to this! Standards, they're good but don't limit yourself to that only. : ) Love it : D
Haha! You can delete it if you like Shii
"Standards, they're good but don't limit yourself to that only" – Indeed. Glad you realize that from this entry!
Ang tao ang nagplaplano, ang Diyos ang gumagawa. 😉
Amen
I was at first tempted to say that I disagree with you, but I think after reading the whole thing I don’t need to say anything. The same thing could be said of God’s love, really—he is certainly within rights to not want us to be in a relationship with him. It’s easy for him to write us off as hopeless, yet he made the first move to love us. Since marriage is so often used as an analogy for God’s love for us, I think this is overall very poignant. Just one word of caution, though: sweeping generalizations are often not safe.
Thanks Joey. I'll take that into heart. Thank you.
Yeah. I'm just waiting on God on what He wants. I'm not going to build up walls for myself anymore. Though of course, we still all have our preferences and standards. And it will be God's blessing and mercy if His partner for us will really fall into place in every aspect of our lives. It's His call and He knows what and who's best for us, yeah? Hehe
And thanks for dropping by and commenting. It's an honor bro 🙂
Couldn't agree more. Amen to your very last point.
Hey Jaemie! Praise God 🙂 Glad you got something out of it
Hey Sean,
Honestly, I felt a little off about you having a standard that the girl must not have a past relationship. I mean what if the person requiring has given “keys” to someone else, then maybe it would be unfair if he/she should require his destined partner to have never given his/her “keys”.
But I guess, we can put it into preference lang rin. Like kunwari how I only like guys with good hair. But then, do I have good hair? (No!) Haha! But yeah, the point is I pray that you won’t limit yourself to your own preference.
And you didn’t, as you said! Praise God for that! 🙂 I like your last paragraph – the point. Yes, even if you have the tightest standards, the Holy Spirit will change it for you, your wants, change it in a way that it will fit God’s plans, and your heart did change! Praise God for you Sean.
Praise God for His mercy and grace and wisdom of showing me how to let go of my standards which I held on oh-so-tightly to 🙂
Thanks Phoebe. I would have missed the wonderful chance of knowing her if I let my own standards get in the way of God’s plan for me.
But don’t get me wrong – we should have standards in life – if we don’t, our hearts and the world will set it for us (and the heart is deceitful above all things). So set your standards, pray about it and when God asks for yout o give it up, lift it up to Him 🙂
Hi bro. It’s difficult for me to surrender that tightest standard because I believe God will make it possible for 2 individuals who followed His design or tight standard for them. I can’t help but to imagine about anybody’s past, sorry. I grew up hoping for the best or nothing.
Hey Jemyl! It is in your personal faith and conviction. I sincerely hope for only the best of God’s purposes for you 🙂 May God bless you in your decisions and standards!
aaw! that is so sweet ♥
Thank God we still have men like you, many or some I guess would rather have many girlfriends over again and it is surely not the will of our Father. I too have this standard that when a person courts me, he should have the intention of marrying me. Still, I pray and hope for God’s will to overtake us in every way. Thank you for sharing Mr. Sean;)
There are still men like me and more by God’s grace. I hope and pray that you will not compromise your standards but that you will ask for God’s direction every time you are thinking of giving your heart away to someone. So glad you were blessed Yonel!
Hi bro Sean im so blessed to read your insights, very uplifting and very inspiring.How and where did you get those words?Im wishing to meet and talk to you for you have a powerful voice in your mind.The more I read you blogs the more i crave for wisdom,how i wish i could impart powerful insights inspired by God too through the articles that I am writing for our community.Continue to touch the hearts of the multitudes through your writings.You are a blessing in your simple way! You are a Champion 🙂
Hi Crisca,
Thank you very much for your kind and encouraging words. I really praise God for you. Honestly, it is all by God’s grace in my life that I could write. This is not my wisdom but His. Sometimes I read my articles and I wonder how I was able to write such things. It’s really all God. I’m merely a vessel – a messenger, if you would. I’m exceedingly glad as long as I’m able to share God’s goodness in my life to the world. To God be all the glory.
This has brought mo to tears. God is so gracious. 🙂
Hey sean thank you for sharing this article!!! 🙂 really it is of a big help!! 🙂
Hey Ana,
I’m glad you found it of help 🙂 it’s been a while since I wrote this and I’m getting married soon but I’m glad that this article still rings out to you.
Honestly, I don’t know how I got myself in this article but when God just led me straight to this when I needed to hear something like this the most. I’m glued to these articles as I write this comment. I’m so Blessed!
Sam,
You are very blessed and God wants you on the right track. Keep fighting the good fight!
Hi Sir Sean,
Followed you everywhere and I keep reading your blog after work and to know that you are an SEO guy and an obedient servant of God makes my heart jump with gladness.
Awesomeness!
Thank you for inspiring us through your blog, no doubt that God continually showering you with blessings because you are a good and faithful servant of Him.
Like you, I also set these standards whom to married but I already have a bFFF and he’s not even a christian before but now he is. Many times I tend to give up but realizing my responsibility, my role (to draw him closer to God) in his life I started to take a grip in that relationship.
Praise God for this! It brings hope to those who (like me) had past failed relationship. True that a girls can be whole again if she surrenders all the keys to God. I lay it all to God whatever His will in my love story. God wants us to know that we all deserve and worthy to be love and be whole again! Congrats on your coming wedding. May God continue to use you for His glory. I’m so much blessed that God leads me in here. I love re-reading this, so sweet.
You are a gem. Keep on seeking God and He will be the one to add blessings to your life!