Happy 44th birthday ma!

Ma,

Happy birthday. Another year has passed your life and slowly time with you is slipping away from my hands. If only our life here on Earth is eternal then I would enjoy forever with you. As it is, I cannot and every birthday of yours I cannot understand myself if I should be glad because God has given me another year with you or if I should be sad because I know that you’ll be home sometime at some point in my life.

You will always be my mother whatever happens and I will always love you. Whatever happens I will love you in God as He has commanded me to. You’ve guided me from my first footsteps, my first words, my first wisdom and skill. You’ve seen me grow up into who I am now. And for that, I am very grateful and thankful for you. You brought me up in fear and love of God and helped me make the right decisions and gain wisdom and knowledge.

I have much to say that I cannot put in words. You are the first woman I have ever loved and your place in my heart will never be taken away. It can never be replaced nor shattered. I will always cherish our little moments together, our intimacy, our love – especially your love for me.

Our lives are not perfect. I know I’ve been mistaken for more than once in our relationship. But that’s all the more reason why I cherish and love the little good things we have in our relationship – because we’ve been through the excruciatingly painful mistakes we’ve committed against and with each other.

“I love you ma.” Will be what I will always say. A hug will be what I always do. A kiss will always be my thanks to you. I’m so happy for the life you’re living. I hope and pray that God will give you a long and happy life with me and with our family and with God and for God. Take care of yourself ma, for you might think that your job here is over and that you’re content – but I will always need you in my life. I will never stop needing you nor papa. I need my parents. Even when I’m old and full of age – I will always wish that you and papa are there with me. Because you guys are the only ones who will always be proud of me whether I fail or I achieve success.

And as I write this letter to you, you already well know that my eyes are teary and I’ve wiped them here and there. I pray that God will give me a good and long life with you and papa as well. Prayer keeps our family and life together. I always pray for you and will always do. I love you ma and I will keep on saying this because I know this is the only thing I can give to you that’s special. It is the only thing I can give you that will matter – especially when we meet in heaven where I can no longer say it to you anymore because they say in heaven we will not be too attached to each other anymore in light of God’s presence.

I love you ma and happy birthday.

-Sean Si