Haven’t written here for a long time. But there are just some times when I’m drawn back to writing.
This started as a personal blog – an outlet of sorts. Now it has grown to over 30,000 readers. For that, I thank you – and I want to apologize for being largely absent this year because of all my responsibilities.
This post is about my reflections on a hard meeting, unhealthy leadership, and what to do when you can’t fix the system.
Yesterday was tough.
I expected a difficult meeting; I didn’t expect it to be political, derogatory, and publicly demeaning. I serve this year in a non-profit leadership organization as an elected director.
It’s volunteer work—time, resources, even personal funds—to help the chapter, support the board, and create projects that bless members and the broader community.
I don’t need the title. I’m content with my work, my brand, and the mission I’m already living. I joined to learn new things, build new relationships, honor the group I began this journey with, and—Lord-willing—leave a good legacy.
The Lowest Form of Leadership
In John Maxwell’s Five Levels of Leadership, position is the lowest rung. It’s leadership that doesn’t have to listen because it can command. It doesn’t need to build relationships because it can demand results. And when results don’t come fast enough, it punishes—often in public.
That’s what happened. The leader in the room led from position. No desire to build a bridge. No willingness to get their hands dirty with the legwork. Just: Do the job. If you don’t, we’ll shoot you down in front of everyone.
In any organization that deals in leadership, that is appalling.
I wondered months ago why, during the elections of our organization, someone running for a second time polled worse than I did.
Now I see it clearly. Character catches up and becomes reputation.
People can smell whether you lead authentically with people or get your way through position.
When Upper Leadership Won’t Act
I escalated the pattern multiple times. The answer was some version of: “Ganyan na talaga siya. Tiis lang. Work around it.” (That’s just how he is. Endure. Work around it.)
As a leader, I disagree.
When I see a rotten apple in the basket, I act decisively. If not, the rot spreads. Good teams become cautious teams, and cautious teams eventually become disengaged teams.
The unity becomes fragile. It could have been much stronger if the rotten apple had been removed or at least constrained.
When leadership fails to act with justice, people lose confidence. Hope leaks.
The Call-Out
This year I’ve led or executed 23 projects—most of them with 150+ attendees—while juggling work, businesses, and family. It’s been exhausting and meaningful.
This month alone I’m running three big projects.
Two of them landed on my lap late because other directors needed help.
I said yes.
Then came the call-out: Do more. Do better.
Was feedback warranted? In part, yes. I can always improve.
But the way it was delivered was not becoming of a leader—especially not of someone entrusted with shaping leaders.
I’ve never treated any of my team that way, and I don’t intend to start.
What Do You Do When You Can’t Change the Culture?
Let’s zoom out and take a step back to the world at large: sometimes you can’t fix the system from the inside. If upper leadership normalizes dysfunction, your options narrow.
Here’s what I’m doing—and what I recommend if you find yourself in a similar spot:
- Brace and finish. Keep your head low. Do what’s required. Don’t sin by overpromising your “best” when the system punishes the very people giving their best. Be faithful, not performative.
- Protect your soul. Pray. Journal. Talk to safe people. Don’t let bitterness take the wheel. God sees it all.
- Guard your priorities. Family first. Health and marriage over medals and meetings. When a role forces you into the fast lane nonstop, something sacred gets crushed on the altar of activity. Don’t offer your relationships as a sacrifice to an organization.
- Extract the lessons. Crises clarify convictions. I’m leaving with sharpened insight about how I never want to lead: never by fear, never by public shaming, never by power-tripping.
- Leave when it’s time. Not in a huff, but in peace. If the ceiling is too low and the culture refuses repair, your growth—and the entire team’s—will stay capped. There is nothing further for you there.
A Word to Fellow Leaders
Leadership is stewardship. People aren’t cogs to squeeze; they’re image-bearers to serve. If your position is the loudest thing about you, your influence is already shrinking.
Real leadership looks like:
- Presence, not posturing. Show up in the trenches. Sit beside, not above.
- Honor in public, challenge in private. Correction can be firm without being humiliating.
- Clarity and care. Set expectations early, coach often, and own your part when things slip.
- Justice with speed. When a rotten apple threatens the basket, act. Mercy without boundaries becomes enablement.
Sabbath Isn’t Optional
God worked six days and rested on the seventh. He spoke one or two things into being each day—not 15. Life in perpetual sprint mode is unsustainable.
It breaks character, marriages, and families.
No award is worth that.
I chose this role. I ran for it. I was elected. And I gave it my all.
But part of wisdom is recognizing when to land the plane.
Closing the Year—And This Chapter
It’s been a very long year that ironically somehow moved very fast. There’s always another deadline, another event, another fire to put out.
I don’t believe we were designed to live like that indefinitely. So for the remaining days, I’ll do what needs to be done, keep my integrity, and count down with gratitude.
This is probably one of the rawest reflections I’ll publish this year.
If it gave you something to reflect on today—a question to ask, a boundary to set, a conversation to start—then it was worth writing.
Take care. God bless.
