So many break-ups and divorces are happening today. Some years ago, people would be ashamed to admit a break-up, much more a divorce. However, nowadays there are people who, without a second thought, would tell you that they’ve had 3 divorces or 5 previous break-ups. The sad part about it is that it’s becoming the norm and society has accepted this openly. What are the reasons behind it?
The Perfect Person
There comes a time in our lives when we meet the ‘perfect’ person. We have a great relationship with them, perhaps even end up marrying them. And after some time, we realize, there’s something missing. We feel empty. Lonely. It’s one thing to be single and lonely, it’s another to be married and lonely. And yet it happens in our world today.
The results of which are numerous adulterous relationships. Jumping from one partner to another – seeking for that solution to loneliness along the way. Trying to fill that empty feeling with the perfect solution that will finally bring joy and contentment.
The fact of the matter is, there are lots of lonely people in our world today.
Fitting the Wrong-Shaped block to the Container
There is a God-shaped hole that we often take for granted. It is not a conscious need – and we fail to realize it’s necessity. We often confuse this need as a need for another human being. After all, we are created in the image and likeness of God, and so we think that another human being can fill this gaping hole.
We go after another person, trying to reach out to him/her to fulfill our emotional needs, our physical needs, perhaps even our spiritual needs. Thinking that this person will finally make us happy.
And if our needs are not met, we are left feeling lonely.
It’s crazy! How can another human being fulfill all these? It’s a burden too much to bear for a finite, frail, and mortal being such as ourselves.
Only God can fill it up.
The Irony of it all
Is that God and the spiritual life is being given less and less importance in our world today. We live in a post-modern era and so the importance and reality of God as a need in our lives is left forgotten or branded as a myth, a fantasy, or worse, a source of war, conflict and even evil.
And so the need for that real, authentic relationship with God is shunned – and submerged in our subconscious.
Chasing Pavements
Don’t confuse your real, gnawing need for a great, perfect, infinite God for a relationship with a finite, mortal, limited being. Doing so will put a burden too heavy to bear on that person – and your relationship will not last. This is one of the reasons why there are so many divorce and break-ups happening in our world.
Set your eyes on that one God who will fulfill your real need. Don’t enter a relationship wanting and broken. Enter a relationship as a person who is complete – a person who has a lot to give because he is full of God’s love and assurance.
A good marriage to the right person, entered into under God’s direction and nurtured carefully, can go a long way toward meeting the human need for intimacy; the Bible calls that oneness.
“I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” – John 10:10
Do you think anyone could ever tell you that? Do you think that a partner in life would be able to give you life and have it to the full?
No.
Only Jesus can give you that.
Seek God first. Read His Word. Talk with Him. Pray. Develop your relationship with Him.
I assure you, you will have a better, stronger relationship with your partner if you have a real, intimate relationship with God.
Sean : There are lot of reasons are told for getting divorced,some of the reasons or really cruel or some of them ,even funny too.
But the true reason is lies with our heart.In today’s world we are becoming more materialistic than spiritual.People are loosing faith on God, and the customs and makes us non-believer of this family bond.This will be the true reason of this increasing divorce.
There are a lot other reasons why people make the decision to divorce. The most common reasons are selfishness, lots of arguing, lack of commitment, adultery, abuse, and lack of communication. Folks just forget how to love each other. Time changes people and changes are what make two people grow apart.
Marriage is God’s holy covenant. “The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “does violence to the one he should protect, “says the Lord Almighty. Malachi 2:14-16
Sean – thank you for providing such insight and thoughtfulness in your post on a sensitive topic- break ups and divorce. There are no quick answers in situations like these, but with patience, time and faith many things may be resolved.
Good post. Yes there are many reasons why people break up. Not having a true relationship with God is a big reason, many problems come out of that alone. In my experience problems are also selfishness, unreal expectations from/to partner, bad comunication, pride, and many times past hurts and unresolved personal issues.
thanks dear for this message.
atleast, i will enter the relationship with this knowlegde in mind.i,
there is no such thing as a whole and perfect person