There are more times than I care to admit where I lose my cool. No I don’t shout or say degrading words but people just know that I’m upset and that scares them and even hurts them. We all fall into habits that are triggered by emotions.
Those times may be rare but they should not be rare – they should be eliminated. So I’ve been on a journey on how to reduce my unwanted reactions (especially in meetings) and to change and improve as a leader.
I have gone through coaching, biblical counseling – and now I have a new coaching partner, Michael Sonbert, who has shed so much light and new perspectives into how I do things and how I am in SEO Hacker. The couple of months that I have been coached by him has been nothing short of life-changing not just for me but for all the people in my team.
Every little thing helps when you are intentional about trying to change and improve yourself. I am more aware of myself now and I have, together with Michael, come up with a plan and system to curb my unwanted reactions.
The system starts with a cue:
- Whenever I receive feedback or reports that I do not like – thank the person and acknowledge
- Tell them that I’d like to learn more about what they are saying (either in the current meeting or later during a one on one meeting)
- Listen without judgment or without offense and take notes
- Determine follow-up steps (for example – to meet again next week and discuss whether things have improved)
I have never had a system before with a strong cue. The cue this time is now whenever I receive feedback -whether positive or negative (but especially when it’s negative or undesirable) I will thank the person for the feedback given.
I know that it may sound shocking to you that I need a system to be able to do this – but this is one of my weaknesses. I speak to quickly and too candidly and often out of turn – that it throws people off. I may be a great speaker on stage because that is simply giving a presentation but I struggle when it is a meeting with people reporting undesirable things and problems.
I’m keen on putting this system to the test and embedding this as a habit for me. Perhaps I could finally turn this weakness into a non-weakness with this new system in place.