I’ve been talking about love and how to love a person of the opposite sex with my previous posts. I hope to elaborate more on why it’s dangerous to love someone too much in this entry. Does it really happen? What are the consequences of loving someone too much?
Been through a lot lately. I haven’t been posting all that frequent as you might have noticed. Been busy with fixing stuff for work like my NBI clearance, TIN, SSS, etc. It’s amazing how many things you need to do to get employed. This post is inspired by my relationship with a very special someone with whom I have learned with and gained wisdom with.
It all starts when you lose focus
As you all know I’ve been pursuing someone. Now, even if I blog about love and emotions, it doesn’t mean I’m exempt from committing the same mistakes that I talk about avoiding. In fact, I know that I am very prone to those same mistakes even if I haven’t really been into a serious relationship with the opposite sex before. And within this time of my pursuit of this certain lady’s heart, I know that I’ve committed this mistake – I lost my focus.
My eyes turned from God to her and somehow I knew, I won’t get away with it. God wanted my attention back. I felt the difference – I wasn’t able to blog much because ‘it’ was not there. I did not crave for wisdom as much as I did before. I did not have that certain intensity in prayer as before. I lost my focus on Him and focused too much on my pursuit and love for this lady.
It gets dangerous
When you focus on the person and love him/her too much then you tend to push your friends, family, work, and all of the other things, aside. When you push those things, which are physical and you have physical relationship with, aside, how much more do you think will you be able to shove God away together with all of them?
Focusing on the person too much and loving him/her too much without focus on God anymore will invite the lies of the Devil in your relationship. It will invite worry, possessiveness, insecurity, jealousy, and will ultimately make your relationship a hindrance to God. Why? Because you’ve lost focus on the One who is in control of your life – therefore you’ve lost your trust that He allows all things to happen in a relationship.
The tendency is, you will want to be in control when you put God out of the picture or when you shove Him aside. And being in-control makes you vulnerable to all the things I’ve mentioned earlier (worry, insecurity, jealousy, etc.)
It’s like a picture
When you’re too near a picture and you’re too focused, you don’t see the beauty of it. In fact, it becomes blurry when your eyes get too near. It’s the same with a relationship. You can’t get too focused and too near with your man/woman because it doesn’t let you see the beauty of it – it only makes things blurry because you can’t see God anymore.
How do we deal with it?
Just like getting too near a picture makes your vision blurry, you have to step back to see the beauty of it again. Step back in your relationship. Step back in your focus and love for your man/woman and ask God to take control again. Find Him again because you’ve lost sight of Him. Loosen your relationship to make room for God. It’s all about glorifying Him through your relationship – and if He’s out of the picture, how will that happen? God wants in, and unless He’s in, the picture will never turn into a masterpiece.
Love is probably one of the greatest and most dangerous forces to ever move humanity. Anything too much is probably bad for anyone. As stated above, simply for the love of someone, one can do anything and by anything that includes bad things. Though in this case i believe that one cannot truly gauge or see if they are too much "in love" as during in that state anyone would not care of faults and would accept compromises… until it is too late.
However in that context what about loving God too much(regardless religion)? It drives people to become overzealous, close-minded,and most of all these extremists stop at nothing to promote their love for their beliefs / faith. Though i sometimes doubt one can love God too much as his love for his children is obviously infinite.
Good insight Roy.
I think there is no such thing as loving God too much. Because if you love Him and hold Him as your focus then you're on the right track and will obey His commands to love one another too.
You're right – nothing can ever compare to the greatness and the dangerous nature of love. That's why we have to know it's author in order for us to know the truth about it. Only the lies direct love to a bad direction.
Sharon nelson says
I know that I love ( or at least think i love ) my boyfriend way to much , much more then i think he loves me. You are very right about becoming to jealous , to much worrying about what hes doing . I cant take it anymore , but i am determined to get him to want me just as much as i want him . even though this relationship is taking so much effort and its so so timeconsuming , and the jealousy that i am having , i cant take it anymore. But ill keep trying.
I am in the same position. I am over thinking and worried about the relationship failing. I have lost sight of God. And made the relationship an idol. I’m too concerned over his commitment to me rather than enjoying his friendship and the time we have together. Today I am asking for forgiveness of putting the relationship ahead of God. And ask God to direct me out of this obsession.
I am in a place of repentance. But I need to hear and do what God is asking of me. Lay this down and hold his hand and place him in first position.
Roy, i think your matter of "loving God too much" has something to do with religion. I believe that the God I serve is not all about religion, a set of beliefs, rules and templates. The God that I've heard, seen and know of is the One True God who is relational, infinite, the way, the life, the most loving, just, glorious, jealous, all powerful, victorious, holy, righteous of all and more!
And everyone, If the God that we claim to love is like what His Word claims He is, then for sure we can never really "love him too much" because we cannot out-give or out-love the One who gave it all for us.
Moreover, God is love. It's not 'love is God' which is the other way around. If we want to know more about love or anything else, then we can always turn to Him who designed love itself. He invented love, coined the term, exemplified it from the beginning. In the Bible, we'll see the pattern of God sending prophets to save His people calling them to turn away from our ways and go back to Him.
For bonus reading:
1 John 4:18-20 (New International Version)
Plus another bonus reading:
Romans 5:8 (NIV)
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Thank you for sharing your insights! Something to think about.
And yeah, loving God is far from following a set of rules and traditions. It's a relationship – just like loving a real person.
You just made me realize why my life is going down
I believe GOD has sent his message to through this
It is my privilege to share this to the world.
I like this post as well Sean! Indeed loving too much is extremely dangerous. Thank you for this reminder. 🙂
You're welcome Clarisse 🙂 Again, it's my pleasure sharing this to you
thanks for writing this, i recently fell in love with this girl from church, i have been in 2 long unsuccessful relationships already, i am 24, just finished my degree, and am a christian, but not a full on one if u get what i mean. This girl made me crazy, and i was madly in love with her, at the start everything was good, i was happy, i felt the romance, but then as time goes by, i felt like i have lost my focus on everything, god, friends, work……..just totally focused on her, as just as u mentioned, my heart was constantly fighting with jealousy, cos i got very sensative becos i don't wanna lose her, and then i get worry, and u know……. possessiveness, insecurity, i felt all this. I came to a point where she was so important to me that i didn't want to spend too much time in church, but with her only.
It's my privilege to share this with you Jazz. Watch your heart – it can certainly betray you
Love was never designed to be held back. If one holds back love, it's called hypocrisy! Love to the fullest. Don't withhold!
If you get hurt because things did not worked out, then you can say to yourself… "I've honestly love you…" …."
… Love is sacred… treat it as one.
I love too much….care about people too much….when I love it’s big….when I get angry…I get angry. Mainly because someone had hurt me. I used to tell my mom as a young girl…I have so much love to give…But no one to give it too. I’ve felt it to b a curse….I feel too much and I wish I didn’t….is that bad? What does that mean?
There’s always someone you could give your heart to and that’s Jesus. He loves you so much that He went here on Earth for you and me to have eternal life. Know Him. Love Him.
thanks for the message..I realized I made the right choice of breaking up with him and restoring my relationship to God…I can't serve two masters…And relationship should help you grow in your relationship to God rather than to draw you farther away from Him… =)
Glad you gave time to think about your relationship. And praise God that you chose to put Him first 🙂
Relationships play tug-o-war with the place of God in our lives at times.
Thank you so much for sharing this. It really shed some light on somethings!
It is my pleasure and privilege Iesha 🙂 Glad I got to bless you on this area of your life
Cess mic says
Thnk u xo much..uv rili helpd me.
Thank you so much! This is exactly what I needed! Thank you God!! 🙂
Glad it has opened up understanding in you. Praise God!
Thank you for this really.. its true loving too much is dangerous makes me paranoid, jealous and feeling taken for granted or something else.. it can really ruin a really good relationship with someone.. but i have never left god or forgot him.. he’s always the one i talked to at night especially when i feel this pain in my heart.. praying for his guidance, to clear my mind and clean my heart.. i think its not only on loving god we have to focus on, we also need to stop and know ourselves more and love ourselves more and be content of what we have and cherish it. Life is beautiful.. everything has its reason may it be bad or good.. we just have to learn how to handle it.
Always remember: Love God
Love other people as yourself – meaning you have to learn to love yourself so you can love other people right. 🙂
Love is very Dangerous …I didnt realize that until i read this passage…I feel like i have put God aside out of my relationship and it wasn’t too long ago when i talked to my significant other about putting God more into our relationship and here i am doing this…I fell soo much better after reading this .I feel like i just let all of my worries go to God..I let the devil play with my mind and i ask god for forgiveness…I’m so glad that i read this
Thank You 🙂
I hope and pray that you remember this truth in your life 🙂
It is dangerous the moment you put someone or something above God. It becomes idolatry and dependence on another mortal, imperfect, temporary being.
“Too much Love will Kill You”- Freddie Mercury
I can relate to this. Thus, I am afraid those guys that told me- they love me so much. I am afraid that they will not be able to face separation- any form of separation.
For that special reason, I practice not to get too close to any guy ( and I am a guy).
That was last time. Now, I am making a move, but with a clear conscious that separation will always occur at the end of the tunnel. I simply need to embrace every moments before my time run out.
I had few issues about myself. I just cannot control myself on few predicament. I just wonder if I could seek opinions and advices from you.
Sure you can ask me for advice 🙂 just shoot me an email
Thank you for this post. I have been suffering terribly from heartache. I know I love this person too much but I can’t seem to shake it. I know I need to focus on God. I know I need Jesus but I am caught up in what I feel I miss about this person. I have to break free but I don’t know how. I cry out for help and I know He hears me but I hurt just the same. I know I am grieving Him. I know He does not want this of me. I’m just so broken. I am really struggling to get it together.
I’m praying for you KC. Keep on holding on to God and His promises.
Rajinder Singh says
Thank you so much for sharing this …………….. Really very true.
Thanks so much for this article! This is exactly what I needed to hear…I’m right smack in the middle of the situation…funny enough, God created the space knowing this would happen and sent him to Florida for two weeks…it’s been an emotional rollercoaster for me because I’ve lost FOCUS. The insecurity, the worries and the lies are all dead on as you say..now I need to know how to step back and how to start focusing on God and having a strong relationship with Him again.
I hope and pray that you will find your security in our God alone and focus on His love 🙂
It’s really a tricky situation when your emotions are playing tricks on you. The heart is a very deep part of us. Only God will ever fill it.
This is all very true.I find myself thinking less about God, and more about this person. But I can see what people are saying- when someone has qualities which are just so attractive, it’s really difficult not to. I feel that I may as well just not bother, and stay single forever. Anyway, I’m finding that I’m way too distracted- I just think about running away with this person. Love is VERY dangerous-that’s for sure. So, what mindstate do you guys try and attain? Do you think about the person at all?Do you try and think about God all of the time? I used to have a very close relationship with God- it’ still close, but I feel like that I need to get into the swing of things again. How do you tackle strong emotions? I just feel like I need my head flushed out.
Thanks in advance.
Thank you Sean, your masterpiece has open another door for me. I now realized how dangerous LOVE can be.
This was my life story not long ago. I hope God blesses you Sean. Thank you so much and God bless
Thank you – a very much needed blog post! It’s not so easy to keep our focus on the Lord, but it is necessary. This way, you don’t lose yourself in someone and it prevents bad stuff from happening. It is my prayer that I can remain focused on Him at all times, even when I fall in love with someone.
Thanks a lot… I was in love with someone so intensely that I just forgot about God.
Am going thru it . Its the worst like even tho am in love everything he does or say to me .hurts me we be arguing everytime . We have two years together . N I have pushed my family away . It was all for him . And I am wrong but I need help to recover . From this pain. I love him but our relashionshi is not like before .
Readers like you make it all worthwhile. Thanks for sharing it Christy 🙂 God bless you!
The Lord has delivered his will and plan for me through your blog. It was awesome going through. Thank you. Pray for me, pray for my relationship. Pray that I may see the masterpiece. Amen
Esther punah says
I really in love with my boyfriend i love him so much. Nowadays i can’t concentrate always thinking about him. Please pray for me i diont want to loose my relationship with my God. I want God to be the first in this relationship.
Naim Mil says
You know I have been through that one, I even doubted God at the same gime, I really think this is quite obsessive when we love too much, if you two love each other well, then God shouldnt be in the choices, God is always the first choice for the both of you.
Naim Mil says
Is he manipulative? Controlling? You have some issues for some reasons but I believe you can and will get trough this traumatic pain. 🙂 Keep faith
Love is dangerous, but we have to let go of our human thoughts, fear etc. In order to love in the way God loves us.
In order to model off of his love, we must allow him to flow within ourselves. I’m married for 2 years this coming week. There are times I don’t like my husband, but I love him completely, just as God loves him.
We are imperfect beings, and if we could set aside our human thoughts and anxieties we can get and give the love we are so desperate for.
This is not easy, and we are tested on a regular basis. Sometimes I fail in loving my husband the way he needs. But I try to not lose focus on my calling in life.
My best advice is to not dive into love quickly, allow God to guide you in thus journey. If you are the right person in Gods eyes, the eyes of the right man/woman for you will come just as God intended.
I am not a perfect person, but I try to live my life in faith and that is how we are meant to.
Love and be loved as the good Lord intended. And do not allow sexual passion to shadow your judgement. Blessed be.