If you’re honest enough, you know that a lot of people are struggling with this word that we all find hard to say. Somehow the word masturbation ain’t so good to hear and we cringe when we hear the word. Especially when we’re guilty.
This entry is, of course, based on my personal experience as someone guilty of such a sin and is also based on discussions and arguments I’ve heard regarding the topic itself
When the world says it’s alright
“Everyone does it anyway”
“So? No one else is affected”
“Who says it’s a sin?”
Pornography, as I’ve mentioned in my entry “Competing with porn” is as rampant as water these days – it’s everywhere. And as movies and the media commoditizes sex as if it is an everyday habit and norm, we are led to think that the act of masturbation doesn’t even enter the radar. That masturbation is small-fry and is no big deal since everyone’s into the bigger sin of premarital sex and adultery.
Big things start small
Remember the first lie you’ve ever told? You were nervous. Your palms were sweaty. Your heartbeat raced. Your pulse throbbed. And you almost stuttered. You were so afraid you’d get found out. It’s not a big lie – no you didn’t think it would affect anyone. It was just something about yourself.
Right after the words left your mouth, you felt a knot in your stomach. You knew that the words you’ve just let go were wrong. You knew it was a sin. It was lying.
Time passed and you grew older. Lying became a habit for you. You wouldn’t even break a sweat from telling a lie that could break your friend’s life. Sooner or later, you’d lie about money, about cheating your spouse, about things that could change your life forever.
Lust and masturbation might not directly affect other people. But once it grows and craves the real thing (which is, of course, sex) you have no idea how many lives you’re going to change – and no, it’s not for the better.
Real men can say NO
The world right now says that porn and sex makes you a man. If having sex with a lot of women makes you a man then does that make your dog any more of a man too?
The truth of the matter is, only those who can deny themselves of instant pleasure can call themselves real men. Real men knows how to discipline and control themselves – yes, even when the hormones kick in. And if you were wondering, yes, it’s what differentiates you from your dog.
And saying no starts with the smallest discipline that people don’t see – your mind. What you do when you’re alone is dictated by your mind in that certain situation. If it’s full of lust then it will probably lead to watching pornography which leads to masturbation. Be disciplined with what you feed your mind.
What’s your excuse?
“It is God’s will that you should be sanctified that you should avoid sexual immorality that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honourable not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you” – 1 Thessalonians 4:3-6
Masturbation? Excused?
Don’t think so.
That is so true! Great Post and this is something that a lot christain men struggle with!
It's so hard to avoid doing this.
I definitely agree. In fact, without God, I think it's impossible
masturbation is a way to prevent prostate cancer.
lets say you are separated by work,if you imagine how you had sex with your wife would that be immoral? both i think are good excuses to masturbate.
Hey buddy
Yep you're not the only one who's running excuses and compromises in his mind – i think almost all men have regarding this matter. Unfortunately, the Bible has already made it clear – sex is to be between man and wife, not man and himself even if he's imagining his wife. And regarding prostate cancer, I personally believe that if you trust God and walk in His ways, you'll live long and He will take care of you.
thanks sean,
need a verse from the bible on this, sorry need help on this i haven't really studied the bible.
You're very welcome,
Regarding your question, I think you'll find this resource very interesting. It not only gives you verses but a full insightful reasoning as to the questions 'why'
pretty sure that having prostate cancer, regardless of your religion, is a pretty shitty thing.
I believe you can, No where in the bible does it say anything about masturbation it talks about lusting. So if you are thinking about your wife and it doesn’t affect your marriage in anyway go for it.
hey…@Sean !!
bro i totally agree with u….you are exactly the way I think!!
cheers…… 🙂
Hello, through crisis outtreach and mentorship this is one is so problematic for most of us. It is often considered a 'lesser' sin because after all who does it hurt? Well, the bible does have alot to say on the issue but where I like to concentrate on are the words of Jesus Himself. ____Matthew 5:27-30 will direct your attention to the subject of adultery, but I would also like to encourage you to look at the sweeping undertones of the hidden message. I think if you read this passage keeping in mind the topic of this blog post, you will come to understand that masterbation is a sin.
to be continued
Continued____This is why most partake in this act because if the bible isn't specific enough about such things, then therefore that must mean it is allowed? no. Scripture talks about sinning against our bodies, and if we as believers are to consider our bodies the temple of God, then by the words of Jesus back up Paul's message that sinning against our bodies is a direct sin against God. ____I urge you when you are directed to pray, consider asking God to lay on your heart the strength to abstain from masturbation in order that your righteousness in Christ be made more complete. __If any of you are struggling with this issue, or cannot see the message detailed in scripture, feel free to contact me and we can search scripture together. __God Bless, __Shannon
It is important part of character, not corrupting ones self.
This is a tough nut to crack. When you are 35 years old, don’t have a wife or prospect of finding one anytime soon, then at what point do you continue saying it is wrong to masturbate? Even 1 Corinthians 7:2,9 imply that marriage is a proper outlet to avoid perversions. What if that is not available? Did Paul and Jesus speak to people about this where they were married, or were about to get married to someone?
Also, since you are not hurting anyone, or you are not personally involved with another human being, both good or bad, then what impact can masturbation have in the world as a whole if it is a private thing that has no connection to the world at large?
In an ideal world, if everyone had a wife and husband then it would make perfect mathematical sense.
Also, how is masturbation defined as sex. Isn’t sex involving two people? When the Bible talks about temple defilement, there is always another person involved, not just thoughts.
This is the most confusing thing and am praying to the Lord for clarification here. I’m trying to reconcile that God loves me and that people go to hell for sexual sins and if masturbation breaks the seal of the Holy Spirit in Ephesians 1-3. Feedback so far is this doesn’t, but then, when listening to some life-after-death experiences, you are not so sure.
Hey Giovanni,
There are really lots of controversies and confusion about this topic. There is no direct answer. But what the scripture says about lust is absolute. Anyone who looks at a woman lustfully commits adultery with her in his heart. This is sin – I’m sure you would agree that when you masturbate, you are enticed to lust to achieve personal, sexual, fleshly pleasure.
Paul and Jesus never married in this life according to God’s Word. They were also not struggling with lust – else, they would not be used by God to fulfill His purpose.
“If you keep yourself pure, you will be a special utensil for honorable use. Your life will be clean, and you will be ready for the Master to use you for every good work” – 2 Timothy 2:21 (NLT)
i agree in the sequence & logical presentation of how sin snares us & takes hold of us…
i remembered what we learn in one of our lessons, sin is not about what was exactly done, but the attitude you are being enslaved with in being involved in this..i do agree that this is a prevalent struggle amongst men of God, but God is stronger than any issue we have, we really have to walk in faith..thanks brother Sean, great points..kudos!
Hi Sean. Please answer my question..
What about if you are masturbating WITHOUT lusting? Like, no thought at all of someone naked, etc. crosses you mind? What about if you masturbate thinking about something else that is not lusting? Please help.
Hey George,
Not sean but, if that is the case then, by I don’t see anything wrong with it. But you would have to be really crazy for that to happen. Idk bout you but I have never heard of anyone masturbating with monster trucks in their minds. That would be totally whacked.
I’m thinking the same but some people claim otherwise. All I know is, stay away from the fire if you don’t want to get burned. If you don’t want to sin by lusting, don’t attempt to masturbate. Or the other way around.
Dear Sean,
What if you are masturbating and not lusting? What if you are thinking about something else, that has NOTHING to do with naked people.. Please don’t say that that is not possible, because I’ve done it before.
Help!
I would like respond to comments about “masturbating without lusting”
#1 the lust of the flesh is still at play even though the lust of the eye (mental stimuli) may not apply
#2 when you masturbate you explore your own fantasies & what feels good for you, that doesn’t leave much space for your spouse & that’s not God’s will
#3 its not how close you can get before something is called sin but how far you can get away before you even ask such questions, Daniel didn’t partake of the food from the royal palace because of his convictions even though it wasn’t sin, that’s the standard of holiness, to hold on to the convictions of the Holy Spirit, I’m pretty certain that the Holy Spirit won’t encourage you to masturbate
I agree with your presentations, but I don’t it is limited to men as women are also ensnared by it.
Yep. It’s really mind-blowing how rampant this sin is with Christians and non-Christians alike.
I thank the Lord for your life… Sharing this thing where most of us(men) are falling and struggling into..
Godbless you bro.. 🙂
I hope you guys don’t mind having a survey. How many weeks, months or years have you guys stopped masturbating?
I was googling about masturbation and came across your blog. I have been struggling with this for so many years. This is not only a man struggle but also a woman struggle. I hate watching tv now-a-days cause there are scene that trigger those unwanted thought and have led me to doing it. I have read your blog about it and thank you for making it clear and standing for what the Word of God says.
I agree. This is not just a man’s struggle but also a woman’s struggle. by watching tv and admiring the actors from the tv show that i am watching, they become an object for me to sin, fantasize about them doing it. I’ve been praying for it in the past few days because i realized that pornography (not just watching but reading erotic stories) doesnt just mislead us about the truth from God but destroys our lives, ive been struggling about it for months since i’ve noticed that i was avoiding all my responsibilities in my workplace, family, God, ministry and ive been using pornography and masturbation as an excuse since its giving me satisfaction at that moment that im doing it although i know that deep inside, its wrong. Thank you for writing this, its an answered prayer for me.
Mia,
It is an honor to have blessed you with this entry. Keep fighting the good fight.
Good post! Anything that does not glorify God is a sin. Watching, imagine sexy woman or even if nothing dirty went through our mind, as long as masterbate is concern… Will this glorify God? No excuse. Father God, give me strength to overcome this. For Your glory. Amen.
This is a battle I have been battling when I 1st started out being celibate. The sexual withdrawals are as real as they can be but you gotta stay busy on other things & try not to have your peers dirty joke or dirty talk around you. The media is getting way over rated with sex now it seem like they wanna keep our minds away from knowing God & doing what is moral instead of immoral. Thanks be to God I’m still struggling with this subject too but I’m not giving in to the lust.
Keep fighting the good fight brother.
Thanks to God for this blog. it has being and shall continue to be a source of blessing to every travelers on this narrow part. To be honest, it has not been easy. This narrow way is not simple. If we really want to make it, then we should learn how to take our cross daily and follow Christ. I will be glad if I make it to heaven and discuss many things with my savior Jesus. I will like to ask WHY father WHY and WHY.
The author wrote “The truth of the matter is, only those who can deny themselves of instant pleasure can call themselves real men. Real men knows how to discipline and control themselves…”
But what about thousands of men (Christian and non-Christian) who want to stop masturbation but cannot find the willpower to stop? Are they no longer real men?
What about the men in 1 Corinthians 7:9 who “cannot control” themselves? Paul would say they are not real men?
Just curious. Enjoyed the article. Salamat Po from Pasay.
Hi Andrew,
Let’s first define what a real man is like in this life. For me, it’s Jesus. Every step I take towards becoming more like Christ is a step to being a real man. I admit, I’m not there yet as I’m still a huge work in progress. But the truth is, until we become like Christ, we are short of being what a real man should be like.
Hello Sean. I just graduated an intense, 18month residential discipleship recovery program in January, where I overcame addictions to pain pills, sex/porn/masturbation. I have been strong in The Lord and have refrained from ALL forms of sexual immorality for nearly two years. Then an overwhelming urge to masturbate came over me the past two days. I had decided I was going to give in. The my Spirit took over and I decided to do a search for “refraining from masturbating for God”, and I found your article. I had already known that my body is a temple and that I should present my body as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable. But I needed more. Something to really take ahold of me. The moment I read “in the act of masturbation, your spirit is fully ashamed and broken”, I knew I wouldn’t do it. I had to overcome SO MUCH shame, guilt and brokenness after ten years of addiction and losing everything, that I NEVER want to feel shame again! THANK YOU, Sean. Because of you, I can proudly say that I haven’t given in. I haven’t compromised. I can continue to hold my head up. Keep up this work you’re doing for The Lord. You’re making a difference. God bless you.
You might also want to look into catechism for this one. 2352 By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. “Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action.”138 “The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose.” For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of “the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved.”